Dating is, a very difficult for a lot of people. Add a mental disorder like bipolar to the mix and you have the perfect recipe for a disastrous relationship. For me, at least, that is very true. I find that most relationships I get into do not last very long. I came out of another in November 2017, after a blissful 30 days of love. Before that, it was another which lasted for only 2 months. Before it, I met a guy on the train, we went on a coffee date once and that was it. The only long term relationship I have ever been in was one that I had back at uni. I was involved with a guy for two years. In that two years we saw each other only five times. Believe it or not, he lived a walking distance away from campus and only spared me 5 days in two years. To be fair, I only kept him on my Facebook relationship column for status and because he was so handsome and I needed to not look like a weirdo. I have since learned that I am not the only one with this issue among patients of mental health disorders.
I must say that it is not very easy to date someone with extreme mood swings. The problem is, I never know when I am acting out of a "mood swing" or mood adjustment as I prefer to call it. I only realize after the episode of things that could have been done better or said better, had I had the control and mental capacity for them. On the receiving end, I believe that partners of bipolar patients, or any mental disorder for that matter have to put up with a lot really. I remember one day in uni, my then boyfriend organised for us to go and have lunch and dinner in a very expensive restaurant, located near a zoo. He called, texted and emailed back and forth for weeks about it. The day came and my partner called to say that he was on his way. I jumped into the rented Mercedes and off we went.
The place was very posh and I could tell that most patrons were international tourists. We were to have lunch and watch the animals as they go to drink in the river en masse. There was also a live band to play well into the evening and we were going to stay for that as well. About 20 minutes after arrival, I wanted to go. I mean I badly wanted to be alone in my dorm. I fought the urge to tell my partner that I needed to be alone now. My happy face had left me and I was in a gloomy mood again. After all, he had spent so much money on paying for the car, the meals, drinks and entertainment. I just could not help it. I kept biting my tongue for an hour. That got me feeling really suffocated and told him to drive me back to campus. He reluctantly oblidged. The following morning came and I could not stop kicking myself for having left such a beautiful scenery and entertainment for an empty dorm.
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