I work on quora part time, whereby I answer bipolar related questions and sometimes matters of the heart, If not giving out free legal advice for no reason other than to use my law degree that sits collecting dust on my wall as I have no interest of ever wearing the court gown, ever again. One question that comes very often is that of how to inform people that you have been diagnosed with bipolar. There are many reasons why this issue is like touching an open nerve. It has to do a lot with the people whom you intend to share such information with. These could range from friends, to acquaintances, to lawyers, doctors, hiring managers and even potential lovers.
I find that whenever I have told someone about my bipolar condition, I have opened up myself in the most vulnerable way. The sole purpose of informing people about the condition is for them to be more understanding towards me and to know me for who I am. Alas, more often than not, people tend to use that information against me time and again. I know that I am not the only one. I once was employed with a lady that was diagnosed with bipolar. I will say that she was severely prejudiced by management and supervisors. For every mishap that seemed to be her fault, comments would fly around that she is behaving that way because she had not taken the pills on that day, as if missing a single dose has an immediate effect on the mood swings and mental stability.
There I was, professing my love to someone whom I had convinced myself that he would stay around. I mentioned the issue of bipolar because I knew that I would sometimes have to go to see the doctor for a refill and he would find out anyway. So what did superman do? One day he turned around and told me that he could not be with someone with mood swings because he could not know if what I say at any given time was sincere or because I was in an episode. Funny thing, all that had not mattered for months before. All I gathered from the experience is that people may use your private information against you.
There is really no easy way of telling people that you have bipolar. In fact, legally speaking, you are not obliged to do so. However, there are other occupations that require you to declare your mental health status before being appointed into the position or even when you are diagnosed after appointment. My advice on the matter is this; use your discretion. If there is no one that is going to get hurt by your condition, zip it! If however, you are in a profession that requires you to be in a perfect mental stability such as being a pilot, a magistrate, a CSI officer, an evaluator, a political officer or an office which requires you to carry a firearm, you have to tell.
I once read a book by Martha Beck; finding your own north star. She advocates that when dealing with private information with other people, you better let it out little by little. Do so until you can fully trust that individual. She says in the book, you should do that even when dealing with a therapist. Do not dump everything on your therapist on the very first sit down. Now I know why. Just like any other profession, not all therapists have the same level of commitment to their patients or even the love of their jobs. You may find that you go one of the worst, dumped your heavy load on them and left the couch feeling like death!
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