Deciding between going left or right can feel like climbing a mountain for other people. Luckily, there is a sure fire formula you can follow when you are faced with a decision to make and you do not know which way to go. I have developed my own strategy which I use to get going quickly when I cant decide which way to go. I call these the ten step method to making a sure fire decision when you are unsure which way to go.
1.The long list of possibilities.
Here you think about and list all the possible ways or directions that you can go. List all your choices without discrimination. This may give you a very long, exhaustive list, but that is exactly what you want. This is the list from which you will make your final decision. This is not a strange thing to do, In fact, this is the same method used by the police and investigators when they have a wide list of possible suspects and they want to get to the number one suspect, or the person who is most probably has committed the crime. If For instance you need to dress up for an occasion and you do not know what to wear, take all the dresses or outfits out of the closet and lay them on the bed. In that way, you have a visual of the choices or suspects to choose from. I do that all the time!
2. The elimination process
Now Take a look at each choice before you, one by one. For each choice , come up with a reason why it may not be the best outfit for the evening. In other words,if it were a criminal investigation, make a list of things that make him or her look less likely to be the possible criminal. Now using the criterion of length, color, make, fabric and times worn, decide if it ticks all the boxes. If it does, it means therefore that it is the right color, length, make, fabric, and it has not been over-worn If there is an un-ticked box, set it aside,
3. Psychological evaluation
Move on to the next items and do the same for all of them. In the end, you will have a pile of clothes that are not too bad or too much out of question. If you were a cop, you would have a few names remaining on the list of suspects. Start sorting out the remaining pile. Lay them evenly on the bed too. Now do the same process all over again. However,this time you have to ask different questions, Now that you know that they are the right size, length, color, shape and fabric, and have had equal opportunities to go out, start asking yourself about the opinions of other people on the objects. Say to your self, I know that it suits me, but does it suit the occasion?
4. Mental issues
The opinions of other people matter a lot. In fact, most of the time we are unable to make quick and prompt decisions because of what other people will think or say about us. With the pieces of clothing still lying on your bed, ask yourself who are the people whose opinions I am worried about. Make a list of all those people. Now go over that list of people and think what they stand for in your life. You will be amazed just how few are the people whose opinions should matter to you. In fact you will find that out of the entire list of say, 40 people who will be at the party, only 7 will actually notice you and what you are wearing. Of the 7, only two are morons who would step on your figures as you hang over a cliff and the 5 would cut their arms off if it meant saving your life.
5. Now step away from the pile of clothes, or whatever decision you have to take and look into yourself. If you are in the bedroom, it is even better because you will not only look at yourself metaphorically, but physically too using the mirror. Now is the right time to consider why you are having trouble making a decision in the first place. You may be surprised to discover that you are not even the reason why. Other people are the reason why you are unable to make a quick decision. you are so much about what other people have to say. Well, we are people and as such, we are emotional and communal beings. We will always have that part of ourselves that care about what other people think. To deal with this dilemma, I have decided on two people to give me opinions on different topics. They don't both advise me on the same issues. I go to one for physical and technical stuff and the other for emotional and financial advice. The rest can go sit on a cactus!
6 Emotional attachment
At this stage, it is no longer about the choice before you or the pieces of items before you. It is now about your feelings towards the pieces of items that you have left. . let us say there are now three outfits remaining. Think about the two people that you have selected as your supporters or advisers. Think about yourself being away from home and having had them to pick one outfit for you and burn the others. After all, they love you unconditionally. What ever choice they make for you is the best, right? Wrong! The choice that you make for yourself is always going to be the best.
7. The lesser evil
Now think of your best friends having to choose one out of three dresses and having to burn the other two. Which of the two dresses would make you cry the most if you discovered that your best friends had burnt it and wanted you to wear the other to the party. Which ever dress or outfit makes you cry the most is the one you want to wear the most. It is not a choice that your friend, sister or aunt has made for you. You have made the choice all by your self. The dress that makes you cry the most is all about the event that you are going to be attending. The other two are not making you cry so much , not because you hate them. It is only that you would not mind so much not wearing them on the event in question. Just like that, you have a winner!
8. Love is not always the opposite of hate.
Just because you have not chosen a certain outfit, or choice out of a handful of other suitable choices, it does not mean that you hate it. The same goes for any dilemma in making a choice. Just because you have decided to stay indoors and not go to Coachella, it does not automatically means that you hate Beyonce, or that you do not respect the person who wanted you to come along. There is no reason for you to feel guilty. Most non decisions we make are because of the feeling of guilt. I know this because I have a pair of stilettos I once wore with an un-matching dress because I felt sorry for it. It had not been worn or taken out as many times as the others. Silly me, I know!
9. You always knew what you wanted
The psychology of making choices or lack thereof is mostly based not on our feelings about our choices but the opinions and judgements of others upon us when they learn of what we have decidied upon. From the very onset, you oicked up the outfit among many others. You could have left if in the closet if it were really out of your range of choices. You took it out because you wanted it, even if it idd not really register in your mind that that was the outfit you really wanted to wear to the occasion. Now that you iknow how to make choices on outfits, you also know how to make a choice on any other subject matter in your life. From now on, you will bever ever say that I am in love with both guys and I do not know which of the two to choose. You will never stay home and watch TV because you have nothing to wear. You will never have to decide whether to go to your couseins wedding or your friends wedding, because at the end of the day, you know about available choices, peoples opinions, opinions that you
10 Have confidence in your choice and stick with it! I know just how easy it is to say that, well I now have the right outfit or I have made the choice I needed to make, only for you to start criticizing the decision and turning back. You then have to do the process of making a choice all over again, which may take you a whole two hours! Confidence does not come in a day. It is a process. You have to cultivate it. You have to nature your own mental strength. You have to believe in yourself and do it everyday. It will not be easy. It will not be done in a day, but in the end, you will be able to not doubt your self or your choices and decisions. Now, bipolar head, it is time to make another very important decision. What are you going to do about your condition of indecisiveness?
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