Finding, developing and maintaining any kind of relationship is hard work. Throw in a ball of mood swings and temper tantrums into the mix and you have the perfect recipe for a disastrous relationship. Most people I know, who are living with the bipolar mood swings mental disorder find it hard to have lasting relationships, I included. Do not get me wrong. I am a fantastic networker. I can really work the room. I can walk into any bar and in a space of a few minutes I am in a deep conversation with a perfect stranger, you could swear that we have known each other forever. But alas, after that initial raving about how easy going I am, the same person will tell me that I am a difficult person. To a point, I admit it. It is difficult to deal with a person with extreme mood swings. So, how do you find and make new friends, when living with the bipolar mood swings mental disorder?
First off, in the pool of acquaintances around you, be it at school or at work, you might already be popular for being a moody wierdo, so making friends there is going to be like climbing a mountain. That being said, we should also mention that not all people are built the same. In the same pool of people, you may find that there are those people who love and support you, regardless of your condition. You just have to figure out what kind of people that usually is for you. As for me, I am an African woman 33 years of age, Believe it or not, I have had difficulty making friends other than older white men, all between 50 – 80 years of age. This is the kind of friends I have been able to keep for a long time. One of these senior citizens has been a friend of mine for over ten years! We speak on the phone almost every day. No topic is ever off limits. He once told me that he sometimes forgets that I am young and black. I guess that is because we clique that well!
The world today is one global village really. You can always find friends online, if you feel that the pool around you is saturated or muddy. It is just like online dating. Some people find the loves of their lives online and it really works! No jokes! There is really nothing stopping you from going online and stating that you are looking for a friend. After a few emails back and forth, you will know if he or she is giving you the right kind of vibes, then you can go for coffee. Mind you, I said coffee and not drinks. This is because it is better to meet during the day at a public place while you are in your full senses, than in a dim bar when you are drunk. After a few chats over coffee, you will know where you stand. If there are some issues of high importance to you that you do not seem to see eye to eye on, do not ignore it. Just let them know you will keep in touch from time to time and then keep your distance.
Lastly, the saying, too many fish in the sea rings true. The problem is that you may be fishing in a river or a lake. Go for the open sea and cast your net wide. If you feel that the older, knitting kind of ladies are the kind of people you often get along with mostly, go for a knitting class. You will meet your new bestie there, who will not judge you. As for me, give me a high level political or business summit and I am there! No kidding, I have never sat next to a delegate and not end up sitting next to them at coffee break, lunch and even dinner. By then, I have all their contacts. It of often senior citizens that I easily get along with. If your kind, is the sporty young type, find a basketball or soccer field playing ground near by. Go for training. If you cant, sit on the stands and cheer your heart out. Talk to the players afterwards. Remember, this is not a fishing expedition, even though you may take some home at the end of the day. Just be friendly. If it does not work out, there are many other players in the team, There are many other sporting grounds. There are many other sporting events. You get my drift?
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